Robert Wagner (Dr. Evil’s Number 2) as a cut rate Bond goes up against Bette Davis (her own eyes) as a full-blown Bond villain.
The Consumption Posts
Episode 412 of Punwatch, with 100+ vacuum cleaners and a bystander pig.
Growly, 80s-style vigilante justice dispensed by a flying-animal-themed anti-hero. Hero is more homeless than usual.
An episode of Punwatch from the vault, with underwear thievery and ScoMo rapping.
That reporter from Batman ’89 has a crimefighting dog and a live-in Dad. Solves crime?
Episode 411 of Punwatch, with drug talk and pumpkin seeds.
Scott Bakula has another run in with a space probe, but this time, it’s personal. Because it’s inside him.
Episode 410 of Punwatch, with a delightful Ed Sheeran round currently under review.
Episode 409 of Punwatch, with pork products and returning punster Timothy Clark!
Episode 408 of Punwatch, with grammar pedantry and a penis in the sky.
Episode 407 of Punwatch, with the most singing so far.
Episode 406 of Punwatch, with returning champion punster Ben Volchok and every single bread.
Episode 405 of Punwatch, with a full board and obscure Pete Doherty references.
Episode 404 of Punwatch, with absolutely no class.
Punwatch for the 2019 Footy Season, with returning special guest Cam Tyeson, here to talk about his new show on 7Mate: Undercover Voss.
Episode 402 of Punwatch, with returning guest Andy Matthews!
Cherry and Mary Cagle (Sleepless Domain, Let’s Speak English) spent 3 hours talking about RWBY, a fascinating disaster of a show.
Episode 401 of Punwatch. Back for 2019!
Scott Bakula is exposed to Space Gas and cannot die. He finds this extremely inconvenient.
It’s the Three Musketeers, but set in modern day (August 2000) America! How does that work? We still don’t know.
Episode 304 of Punwatch, with guests Michael Williams, Sarah Baggs and Piers Morgan (not in person, don’t worry.)
The Consumption has finally joined the Go-Go-uhh… twenty-teens, and got a Patreon going!
An old cop who’s sick of getting shot ends up in “Die Hard on a TV budget” with *record scratch* a LADY COP who *record scratch* can KICK ARSE?! Also 101 EPISODES OF FAILURE TO LAUNCH!
Peter Serafinowicz and Rashida Jones make up a mere 1/5th of this Friends clone that gave Ferris an aneurism.
Episode 303 of Punwatch, with rules fluctuations and too much lewdness. Again.
A scientist, a hotshot reporter and a nurse team up to fight a translucent condom monster, just like in the original Omen. 
A young cop’s partner goes missing right before his wedding. Also, there are vampires. They’re there, sorta.
Episode 302 of Punwatch. Straight back to poo jokes (sorry).
1970s Satanists protect and care for a young woman, until they fail to protect her from a sleazy drifter. Guess who the protagonist is.
Episode 301 of Punwatch. The Return!
Adam Baldwin (no relation) plays Dr Jekyll in this modern take on the classic tale?
MTV try to make an all-female version of Animal House, updated for the late 90s with Blink 182 and casual homophobia.
Michael Williams joins us to talk about a good cop who fights the system with a little mask and a lot of sneaking up behind people and punching them in the head.
It’s the beloved hero everyone’s kind of heard of but I’m pretty sure your dad loves it. Your dad will not love this though.
Wes Craven tells the story of an angry old cop who teams up with a lady to solve some murders she’s always at the scene of.
A brilliant scientist invents a robot suit that allows him to fight crime. Eventually.
Frank Langella is a classic ‘grumpy doctor with a heart of gold’, except without the heart of gold and he’s also a dictator.
High schoolers decide to start bounty hunting and everyone immediately tries to kill them. They don’t mind.
Adam West pops up briefly in Married with Ye Olde Childrene.
A horrible family of awful christians, are horrible to each other and everyone else in a pilot aimed entirely at a christian audience. Merry Christmas, everyone!
A half-Native American cop with psychic powers and maybe shapeshifting powers teams up with his fellow cops who mostly have magic powers as well to solve the murder of two women also he found another woman on the beach who seems nice I’ve run out of spac
CW: Child abuse – 70s child star Mason Reece gets his own sitcom, with the worst idea for a pilot plot we’ve ever seen.
Episode 220 of Punwatch, with Guest Host James Ferris!
Dead people wake up nude on a planet surrounded by other dead-but-not-dead people. And RIVERS!
A secret group sworn to kill a specific demon team up with said demon to battle another group who want to kill that demon. No one likes her.
A group of homeless children made of literal garbage defend the world from toy destroying adults.
A pair of sexy criminal millionaire secret agents prevent a kidnapping they stumble into!
Martin Dunlop helps us watch a divorced dad and his 2 kids get haunted by Horny Ghost Pirates, but fuck that, they’ve got stuffy old teachers to impress.
I.T. professional Harry stumbles upon a secret government spy program that is also a sexy lady who is out to stop him from banging his girlfriend!
In the future banging is outlawed, so when Greg and Jenny bypass security to bang (and bang and bang and bang) on the boardroom table things don’t go how they’d expect.
Bidra and Nardo are Intergalactic Space cops hot on the tail of dangerous space fugitive “Cloyd” guilty of the worst crime of all… hilarity.
Michael Richards, Dana Carvey and a supernaturally disobedient dog are odd-couple cops in a town whose population-to-schmaltz ratio was judged toxic by the EPA.
The 3nd Annual AFL Grand Final edition of Punwatch, with Cameron Tyeson, lots o’ footy chat/puns and general apologies to people who don’t follow AFL.
In a dystopic future, a team of elite cops use rollerblades and jetpacks to fight crime. This pilot couldn’t be more 90s if it was soaked in Gak®.
New Punwatch, with Guest Ben Volchok, a broken round and Guest Skeletor.™
Xander Allan joins us to watch Melissa George get sucked up into a tornado and thrown into the perplexingly boring world of Oz.
Claire Sullivan returns to help us watch Biff from Back To The Future reluctantly adopt a dog, a child and several bread rolls.
GREG EVIGAN is Major Jack North, an astronaut who gains superhuman powers when he is struck right in the god damn eye by a solar flare. So naturally he uses his expanded intellect and strength to solve crime so hard he almost dies. He just keeps doing it. Just stop, Jack. Just stop.
Episode 217 of Punwatch, with special guest Jerzy Gwiazdowski and not enough in-depth ice hockey knowledge.
Episode 216 of Punwatch, with special guest Andrew McClelland and a fair bit of undignified scrambling to think of songs that sort of reference mazes.
Episode 215 of Punwatch, with host Alex Malone and more Kylie Minogue puns than you can shake a well-insured butt at.
Episode 214 of Punwatch, with host Harry Brimage who did well and is a good boy.
Episode 213 of Punwatch, with host Lisa Dib and super-chill, pleasant vibes. And a bionic dick.
Episode 212 of Punwatch, with guest comedian & veteran punster Jennifer Wong and a smorgasbord of Indian cuisine puns.
Episode 211 of Punwatch, with guest host David Shaw and REVENGE
Joe fights his ultimate nemesis – another B-movie actor with even 90s-er hair than Joe’s! Or he would fight him, if not for the constant explosions.
Episode 210 of Punwatch, with returning guest comedian Peter Jones!
Episode 209 of Punwatch, with special guests Michael Williams and Sarah Baggs! Also, some stuff about Pierce Brosnan, tiny knots and other crap.
Episode 208 of Punwatch, with guest Matt Harvey and 5 other punsters. It was raucous.
Joe Lara fights a sleepy white supremacist during what isn’t a mutiny on a ship that isn’t called Starfire.
Joe Lara fights a cyborg with a bad moustache for the future of humanity, in a film that rips off Children of Men despite preceding it by 20 years.
Episode 207 of Punwatch, for the new year and a new you that enjoys way to many obscure fruit puns.
BILLY ZANE turns not-great-spy Kim Cattrall into a robot after her not-great-spying gets her killed. She’s still not-great at spying, but at least she’s a robot.
Episode 206 of Punwatch, with a surprise return Punster.
In this week’s Failure to Launch we join the Mcallister clan as they dish up their famous homemade apple pie at the Midway Inn. On a space station. In the twenty second century. To aliens.
This week’s Failure to Launch sees the return of a horse of course. Of course, if you’re making a show about a talking horse, of course that horse will be a family-friendly lovable horse, unless of course that horse is Mr. Ed.
F. Murray Abraham fires himself into a volcano and dies. Later, a group of generic arseholes do the same, but without the dying so it can be a TV show.
Episode 205 of Punwatch, back after a month off to talk about ancient Greek sex toys.
Jessica Simpson, beloved pop-star, struggles to launch her career in television by playing a beloved pop-star struggling to launch her career in television.
Anthony Strack is a horror novelist with writers block, a new wife, a dead wife, a creepy son, a deeply confusing housekeeper and a new daughter who needs the child protection services right fucking now. Seriously. Call them.
1970-era Dr. Strange battles Jessica Walters with Kung-Fu, lasers and the best afro/gold chains/porn ‘stache combo we’ve seen outside of World Series Cricket. Guest starring Michael Williams and Sarah Baggs!
Dad accidentally buys a circus, and won’t stop firing people & injuring his kids until he makes it work, damnit!
Cam Tyeson helps us examine a TV adaptation of the Brad Pitt and Angelina Jolie movie (without Pitt and Jolie, obvs) gets worse in a way you probably didn’t expect.
90s live action Justice League! Which means no Superman. Or Batman. Or Wonder Woman. Plus, it’s mostly about relationships. Also, David Krumholtz.
The 2nd Annual AFL Grand Final edition of Punwatch, in which Cameron Tyeson joins us again to pun on about Giants, #Fourthawn and the KFC Travis Cloke incident no-one’s talking about (with good reason).
Martin Dunlop joins us to ask: Hey you guys remember Sliders? Well apparently somebody at Fox apparently didn’t since they tried to make this shit in 2015.
Episode 203 of Punwatch, in which guest Alasdair Tremblay-Birchall is haunted by the ghost-puns of Ben Volchok! OOOOOooooo Ben scored a spooky point.
Claire Sullivan guests on this week’s Failure to Launch, in which Elaine’s boss from Seinfeld hosts a talent show with b-list celebrities doing things they’re OK at.
Eternal teenagers Archie, Betty & Veronica are transformed into adults with ‘adult’ problems. Serious ‘adult’ problems.
Episode 202 of Punwatch, in which special guest Ben Volchok breaks a significant record.
Two cops. Ones a priest, the others a ghost. If you’ve ever heard a better pitch, it probably made it past the pilot stage.
Season 2 of Punwatch! More puns! New rounds! Modified artwork! Probably shouldn’t have a vomit story and a poop story in the one episode! Oh well!
Wil Wheaton and Rutger Hauer spice up Frankenstein with car chases and giant eyeballs. Contains traces of blackface.
This week’s Punwatch, with a small nation’s GDP worth of Pokemon puns. Topical!
Kevin Smith’s Clerks, adapted for TV. So, no swear words. Or sex jokes. Or charm.
A frozen cop wakes up in 2069 (nice) and plays Failure to Launch Cop Show Pilot Bingo – No Fun Edition™.
This weeks Punwatch, featuring guest comedian Claire Sullivan and maybe our longest single round ever.
Famke Janssen is a supermodel with a secret: she also beats up carjackers whilst wearing underwear and a StackHat. Also, boobs. Sexy?
Nic Cage and Crispin Glover star in an 80s teen variety sketch… thing? We think?
This week’s Punwatch, with Science Communicator / Comedian Tom Lang and the mother of all…