Category: Failure To Launch

Failure to Launch, a podcast about TV series that didn’t quite make it off the ground.

You can subscribe to the podcast, if you’re so inclined, via RSS or iTunes.

November 30, 2018 / Failure To Launch

An old cop who’s sick of getting shot ends up in “Die Hard on a TV budget” with *record scratch* a LADY COP who *record scratch* can KICK ARSE?! Also 101 EPISODES OF FAILURE TO LAUNCH!

November 24, 2018 / Failure To Launch
November 11, 2018 / Failure To Launch

A scientist, a hotshot reporter and a nurse team up to fight a translucent condom monster, just like in the original Omen. [citation needed]

October 31, 2018 / Failure To Launch
October 23, 2018 / Failure To Launch
October 5, 2018 / Failure To Launch
October 1, 2018 / Failure To Launch
September 21, 2018 / Failure To Launch

Michael Williams joins us to talk about a good cop who fights the system with a little mask and a lot of sneaking up behind people and punching them in the head.

September 14, 2018 / Failure To Launch
September 7, 2018 / Failure To Launch
March 27, 2018 / Failure To Launch
March 13, 2018 / Failure To Launch
March 2, 2018 / Failure To Launch
February 23, 2018 / Failure To Launch
December 22, 2017 / Failure To Launch
December 15, 2017 / Failure To Launch

A half-Native American cop with psychic powers and maybe shapeshifting powers teams up with his fellow cops who mostly have magic powers as well to solve the murder of two women also he found another woman on the beach who seems nice I’ve run out of spac

December 8, 2017 / Failure To Launch

CW: Child abuse – 70s child star Mason Reece gets his own sitcom, with the worst idea for a pilot plot we’ve ever seen.

December 1, 2017 / Failure To Launch
November 25, 2017 / Failure To Launch

A secret group sworn to kill a specific demon team up with said demon to battle another group who want to kill that demon. No one likes her.

November 17, 2017 / Failure To Launch
November 9, 2017 / Failure To Launch
October 31, 2017 / Failure To Launch

Martin Dunlop helps us watch a divorced dad and his 2 kids get haunted by Horny Ghost Pirates, but fuck that, they’ve got stuffy old teachers to impress.

October 27, 2017 / Failure To Launch
October 18, 2017 / Failure To Launch

In the future banging is outlawed, so when Greg and Jenny bypass security to bang (and bang and bang and bang) on the boardroom table things don’t go how they’d expect.

October 12, 2017 / Failure To Launch

Bidra and Nardo are Intergalactic Space cops hot on the tail of dangerous space fugitive “Cloyd” guilty of the worst crime of all… hilarity.

October 6, 2017 / Failure To Launch

Michael Richards, Dana Carvey and a supernaturally disobedient dog are odd-couple cops in a town whose population-to-schmaltz ratio was judged toxic by the EPA.

September 27, 2017 / Failure To Launch

In a dystopic future, a team of elite cops use rollerblades and jetpacks to fight crime. This pilot couldn’t be more 90s if it was soaked in Gak®.

September 18, 2017 / Failure To Launch
September 8, 2017 / Failure To Launch
September 1, 2017 / Failure To Launch

GREG EVIGAN is Major Jack North, an astronaut who gains superhuman powers when he is struck right in the god damn eye by a solar flare. So naturally he uses his expanded intellect and strength to solve crime so hard he almost dies. He just keeps doing it. Just stop, Jack. Just stop.

March 16, 2017 / Failure To Launch
February 3, 2017 / Failure To Launch
January 16, 2017 / Failure To Launch
December 20, 2016 / Failure To Launch

BILLY ZANE turns not-great-spy Kim Cattrall into a robot after her not-great-spying gets her killed. She’s still not-great at spying, but at least she’s a robot.

November 29, 2016 / Failure To Launch

In this week’s Failure to Launch we join the Mcallister clan as they dish up their famous homemade apple pie at the Midway Inn. On a space station. In the twenty second century. To aliens.

November 24, 2016 / Failure To Launch

This week’s Failure to Launch sees the return of a horse of course. Of course, if you’re making a show about a talking horse, of course that horse will be a family-friendly lovable horse, unless of course that horse is Mr. Ed.

November 15, 2016 / Failure To Launch
November 8, 2016 / Failure To Launch

Jessica Simpson, beloved pop-star, struggles to launch her career in television by playing a beloved pop-star struggling to launch her career in television.

October 31, 2016 / Failure To Launch

Anthony Strack is a horror novelist with writers block, a new wife, a dead wife, a creepy son, a deeply confusing housekeeper and a new daughter who needs the child protection services right fucking now. Seriously. Call them.

October 28, 2016 / Failure To Launch

1970-era Dr. Strange battles Jessica Walters with Kung-Fu, lasers and the best afro/gold chains/porn ‘stache combo we’ve seen outside of World Series Cricket. Guest starring Michael Williams and Sarah Baggs!

October 18, 2016 / Failure To Launch
October 11, 2016 / Failure To Launch

Cam Tyeson helps us examine a TV adaptation of the Brad Pitt and Angelina Jolie movie (without Pitt and Jolie, obvs) gets worse in a way you probably didn’t expect.

October 4, 2016 / Failure To Launch
September 23, 2016 / Failure To Launch

Martin Dunlop joins us to ask: Hey you guys remember Sliders? Well apparently somebody at Fox apparently didn’t since they tried to make this shit in 2015.

September 16, 2016 / Failure To Launch
September 9, 2016 / Failure To Launch
August 19, 2016 / Failure To Launch
August 12, 2016 / Failure To Launch
August 5, 2016 / Failure To Launch
July 29, 2016 / Failure To Launch
July 22, 2016 / Failure To Launch
July 15, 2016 / Failure To Launch
September 24, 2015 / Failure To Launch

In the season finale, Leonard Nimoy is a psychic race-car driver who has to a foil a fountain of youth/identify theft mystery in an old English mansion. What don’t you understand?

September 17, 2015 / Failure To Launch
September 10, 2015 / Failure To Launch
September 3, 2015 / Failure To Launch
August 27, 2015 / Failure To Launch

Based on the video game, this pilot ticked all your 90s cartoon boxes: bizarre catchphrases? Check! Poor animation? Check! BDSM pig monsters? Check!

August 20, 2015 / Failure To Launch
August 13, 2015 / Failure To Launch
August 6, 2015 / Failure To Launch

To help solve a break in at a laboratory, an old school, tough as nails cop gets teamed up with his new partner, a stuffy, by the books, clean cut young rookie. Who is also a robotic talking dog.

July 30, 2015 / Failure To Launch
July 23, 2015 / Failure To Launch

Nick Swardson’s pilot about a Gay Robot who’s gay, and a robot. He says lots of gay stuff, ‘cause he’s a Gay Robot. Gay. Gay gay gay.

This is the worst thing we’ve ever seen.

July 17, 2015 / Failure To Launch

An early 90s attempt at “sexy vampires” for TV, except the sex was all incest-based. We can’t prove this show single-handedly delayed the genre by a decade, but I’d drop a tenner on it

July 9, 2015 / Failure To Launch

Textbook 80s sitcom in which a former CIA agent juggles his new job, new wife, and wacky best friend/disgraced West-African dictator Colonel Ntsunge (okay, not quite textbook.)

July 3, 2015 / Failure To Launch
June 25, 2015 / Failure To Launch

Sean Bean is Eddie Prey, who is actually John Robson, who is in fact played by Brett Cullen. Look, you might wanna take notes on this one. It gets dense.

June 18, 2015 / Failure To Launch

In the mid 1970s, CBS noticed that America was in love with famed motorcycle stuntman Evel Knievel. That’s why decides to slap his name on this show, which features no actual Evel Knievel and very few stunts.

June 12, 2015 / Failure To Launch

Melissa George teams up with some hip young Los Angelenos to catch a murderous psychopath, who is literally impaling people because he misses some ponies. Can the gang catch him with just a handi-cam and the power of free association? Yes. Yes they can.

June 5, 2015 / Failure To Launch
May 29, 2015 / Failure To Launch

Kevin Conroy (Voice of Batman) and his team have 48 hours to find a colleague lost in a future wasteland filled with murderous mutants. They’ll get to it at some point.

May 23, 2015 / Failure To Launch

An unwilling donut store owner becomes the center of a love triangle for two creepy mechanics. Everybody sings about it. Poorly. Except for those who rap about it. Poorly.

May 15, 2015 / Failure To Launch
May 8, 2015 / Failure To Launch
May 1, 2015 / Failure To Launch
April 24, 2015 / Failure To Launch
April 17, 2015 / Failure To Launch
April 10, 2015 / Failure To Launch
December 24, 2014 / Failure To Launch
December 19, 2014 / Failure To Launch

A newspaper editor’s wife is replaced with a murderous robot. He kills it, along with several other female robots, but not before having sex with most of them. No one believes him.

December 12, 2014 / Failure To Launch
December 5, 2014 / Failure To Launch
November 28, 2014 / Failure To Launch
November 21, 2014 / Failure To Launch
November 7, 2014 / Failure To Launch
October 31, 2014 / Failure To Launch

Norman Bates’ best buddy from the asylum inherits the Bates Motel, and tries to get it running again. Utterly baffling from start to finish.

October 23, 2014 / Failure To Launch
October 17, 2014 / Failure To Launch

Dean Cain saves the world by betting Hawaii on a game of FutureSport, possibly the dumbest fictional sport ever created. Also stars Wesley Snipes as a “Jamaican”.

October 10, 2014 / Failure To Launch

Rachael Leigh Cook is an FBI agent born without the gene for fear. Based on books from the author of Sweet Valley High. Surprisingly dull despite a scene with an attempted milk drowning (really).

October 3, 2014 / Failure To Launch
September 29, 2014 / Failure To Launch

Jensen Ackles (Supernatural, again) brings his brother’s ashes back to his family after stealing them from the funeral a year ago. It’s 7th Heaven, but serious to the point of being sillier than 7th Heaven.

September 19, 2014 / Failure To Launch

Jared Padalecki (Supernatural) stars in a 2003 attempt to make MacGyver current and sexy! We think. It was hard to pay attention due to intense boring. Really needed a Richard Dean Anderson cameo.

September 12, 2014 / Failure To Launch

The Osbournes who aren’t Ozzy drag Ozzy into a 50s style variety show. In 2006. An ill-conceived mess with a stunt that goes as badly as everyone should have expected.

September 5, 2014 / Failure To Launch

George R. R. Martin creates Sliders about 3 years before Sliders, but forgets to make it any fun. At all. Stars Poochinski’s partner, Robert Knepper and Red from That 70’s Show.

August 29, 2014 / Failure To Launch

Jesse “The Body” Ventura and “Rowdy” Roddy Piper get fired from wrestling and become cops, with surprisingly charming results.

August 22, 2014 / Failure To Launch
August 15, 2014 / Failure To Launch

Billy Zane is an immortal bad guy turned good guy who trains knockoff-planeteers to fight other Billy Zanes in this Matrix-era piece of martial arts themed batshit insanity.

August 8, 2014 / Failure To Launch

Two female detectives, who are secretly lovers, investigate an overly-horrific crime in New Orleans. Being fairly progressive for its time doesn’t save it from also being really bad.

August 1, 2014 / Failure To Launch

A police department investigates crime in an alternate universe where magic has replaced science. A half-decent concept, let down by the most hilariously lazy/utterly insane execution we’ve ever seen.

July 25, 2014 / Failure To Launch
July 18, 2014 / Failure To Launch

A Disney “TV Movie” about a boy and his invisible friend. Was probably supposed to be whimsical & fun. Instead, has a creepy puppet and about half an hour’s plot stretched over 90 minutes.