INT: STUDIO
5 Twenty-Somethings with colourful clothing, bright shiny teeth, and adorned in quirky accessories such as headbands and unconventional necklaces sit around a colourful desk. SIMON is sitting in the middle, on his left is JACINTA and THE D-BOMB, on his right is JOSH and CASSIE (short for CASSETTE).
SIMON
Hey, welcome to The Funky Desk, we’ve got an awesome show lined up for you tonight. Johnny Depp, Katherine Heigl, Gerard Butler, Scarlet Johannsen, Robert Downey Jr, Julie from Masterchef, Chris Lilley, Jennifer Aniston, Ashton Kutcher, Demi Moore, Bruce Willis, Gerard Depardieu, Emily Blunt, Daniel Radcliffe, Jim Carrey, Flight of the Conchords, Paul McCartney, one of the Olsen twins, Lindsay Lohan, Helena Bonhem--Carter, Magda Szubanski, Matt Preston, Judd Apatow, Lady GaGa, Seth Rogan, Pink, Lleyton Hewitt, Ruby Rose and Short Stack.
CASSIE
Oh my god! I love all of those guys!
SIMON
Celebrities are great.
JOSH
They sure are.
SIMON
I wish I was a celebrity.
JACINTA
We’re on television now, we’re all celebrities.
SIMON
Really?
JACINTA
Yeah, we’re like the coolest celebrities ever.
SIMON
Thanks guys.
CASSIE
What do you think about the news?
THE D-BOMB
They’re nothing without Huey Lewis.
Long pause. Everyone looks down at the piece of desk assigned to them.
EVERYONE
Wah-hay! Oooooohhhhhh
Boisterous laughter.
JACINTA
You’re so funny!
THE D-BOMB
Thanks.
CASSIE
Jokes are great.
SIMON
I love boisterously laughing.
JOSH
Yeah, boisterously laughing is great.
SIMON
It makes me feel secure.
Long pause. Everyone looks at SIMON’s assigned piece of desk.
SIMON
Does anyone know any jokes?
Everyone looks around, unconventional necklaces and bracelets clunking around annoyingly.
