Posted on September 16, 2016
Talent shows are the shredded iceberg lettuce to broadcast TVs salad; a great space filler that, while nutritionally void, is hard to get wrong. You just need talent, or failing that, star power.
(Alternately, core it first, remove the thinnest leaves, chop finely and refrigerate until serving #icebergtips)
But what if you have neither? Well, you get Secret Talents of the Stars, a show where you can watch B to C list celebrities a) do something one step removed from what they’re already famous for, b) do something they’re not great at, or c) do something they’re really quite bad at.
(Alternately, a) rocket lettuce can work if dressed to counter it’s iron-rich bitterness, b) carrots & radish, grated at length and topped with ginger and lime zest is a Thai-inspired delight, or c) cabbage is a reasonable swap, but be sure to finely slice any coarse leaves to prevent them from overwhelming any subtler flavours in your salad #greensRgreat)
Or, d) watch George Takei put on a cowboy hat and have some dickhead hurl homophobic slurs at him.
You know what? Iceberg lettuce sucks.
Claire is performing in 2 shows at this year’s Melbourne Fringe Festival, because she’s an intrepid go getter: PO PO MO CO and I Wish I Owned A Hotel For Dogs. Check them out!
Reviewers: James Ferris, Claire Sullivan, Andrew Cherry
Soundboard: Harry Brimage